Monday, March 16, 2009

Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone (or even on the toilet) and ask to be taken somewhere.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm busy?'
Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
The invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'
I'm a taxi to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!


cajunsis said...

Awww, but she will return all too soon - and until she does, you will catch glimpses of her in passing - and they get a bit longer each time you see her.

She is more important that she realizes, she is the name "mommy" that is the important woman who can make all the wrongs - well, right.

She is the mom that even when sitting on the toilet, the child needs reassurance that mom is still there.

She is the one that the child tests when mom is on the phone to be sure that mom will still be available when they appear to be too busy for the 'important' things the child needs.

She is mom. Mom to triplets and yes a busy one; but all too soon, the mom of the lonely heart will return and she will find herself again.

She will be much wiser and will find herself blessed to have been important enough 'back then' that the child used to need to hear her every breath - just in case they needed "mom".

Love ya :-)

cajunsis said...

I forgot to sign - Euvah :-)

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